Impolite Conservatism

By Patrick Grimm

If you turn on your AM radio, you will get a mental picture as well as an audio earful of the haggard, tired face of American “conservatism” in all its mediocre malsplendor (which is a word I just coined, fusing together malformed and splendor). Everything related to the American brand of supposed cutting-edge “conservative” thought (or groupthink) is polite, archaically out-dated and washed-up. Rush Limbaugh, once the poster boy for a new style of radio, iconoclastic as it jeered liberal sacred cows, now seems recycled and a format out of steam and any fresh ideas. It’s just Republicans vs. Democrats in all its knee-jerk and unthinking staleness, rehashed again and again and again. What amazes me is that people still digest this drivel with a straight face almost as if they are actually digesting profundities rather than banalities, banalities that ceased to be relevant a long time ago.

The most unsettling aspect of “conservative” talk radio is the utterly polite nature of it. Not only are the pundits, Limbaugh, Hannity and O’Reilly predictable, they are so boring and “paint-by-numbers” that you can anticipate their position on any given issue before the words even leave their mouths, spewing the public airwaves with silliness and anti-thought. What transpires on AM radio is not a real intellectual process, but a series of what I would deem “postures and gestures” signifying little or anything more than the host’s delight in hearing his own voice. It’s polite, polite, polite, which means that it’s vanilla, and a vanilla that has been sitting on the counter of Baskin-Robbins a few days before consumption.

What we need is a new conservative movement in this country, what I will christen an “impolite conservative movement” that is unafraid of defying convention and the big guns of both parties. In fact, the two-party system and their antiquated platforms would have to be discarded completely by this new “impolite conservatism” I am attempting to flesh out. What would be some of the public positions that would be seen as “impolite” by the Establishment? Allow me to list them.

Patrick Grimm’s Impolite Conservatism

1. Pro-European-American

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